We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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