Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
