he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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