too bad you live with your parents still
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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