Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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