I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Randomize
