i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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