Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
