Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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