hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
