Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
