Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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