Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Come see our sink grown plant.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
