Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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