i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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