Tell her she can't have a vagina
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
There r osticjed everywhere
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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