i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
