Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
