Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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