i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
