What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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