so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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