just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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