i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
