Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize