You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Be still, my beating vagina.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
