Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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