we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm like, not good at living.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
