Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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