this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
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