I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
