Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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