try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
