Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
