No awkward lesbian experiences without me
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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