i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
