We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
