David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
