relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
