I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
