Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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