I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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