i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
