Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize