you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
