dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
