90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
