Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
