A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
