HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
