why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
