If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
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