More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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