Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
we're making bets on your personal life
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
