that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
my phone needs a breathalizer
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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