4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
we're so committed to being not committed
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize