You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
